Hugh and House
by HughLoverMD
Summary: What happens when House and Cuddy discover A Bit of Fry and Laurie? Was originally a one-shot but I decided to keep going. Originally posted on the House Fox Forum.
1. Part 1

**Hello! I wrote this one shot on an idea from my Huddy story, Tension. If you're not familiar with A Bit Of Fry and Laurie, just look up "A Bit of Fry and Laurie: 'Your name sir?'" and "A Bit of Fry and Laurie Hospital Sketch" on YouTube...those are the two sketches I reference in this fic. Anyway, read, review, and check out Tension if you have time! Thanks so much!**

**And by the way, I do not own Hugh, House or ABOFAL. One can only dream...*drifts off into daydreamville***

*****

"Cuddy, I need the okay to do a procedure," Dr. House said, sticking his head into Lisa Cuddy's office.

"Go ahead and do it," Cuddy said in a trance before giggling. Her eyes were glued to the TV screen.

"What are you watching?" He let himself in and plopped down on the couch next to her.

"It's an old British sketch show."

"And why are you watching an old British sketch show?"

"Because it's funny. And that one, the one in the police uniform, is sick and came here. Specifically to see you. He's delusional, saying he knew you in a past life. I think his subconscious is just telling him to go to the best doctor around." She barely got the words out of her mouth before she started cracking up.

"N-I-P-P-L-_hyphen_-E" the goofier looking one was saying. Even House chuckled.

"What's the guy's name?" House asked.

"Uhm…Stephen Fry," she said, glancing at the file sitting on the couch next to her.

"I don't know him. Come to think of it, I don't really know any British people. Unless you count Chase."

They laughed together when the other one, Laurie, 'performed' his address for Fry.

"So what's this thing called?" House asked. He was kind of sucked in. That or he just liked to sit next to the sweet-smelling woman whose thigh was touching his.

"A Bit Of Fry and Laurie."

"That sounds familiar."

"You know what?" Cuddy said, looking at House and then back at the screen. "That one looks a lot like you."

"Fry?"

"No, the other one. Laurie. I think his first name is Hugh."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. You guys have the same eyes, same face. He looks like you did back at Michigan."

"Huh," House replied, not wanting to admit that he saw it too.

"That is so weird," Cuddy said as she compared faces again. "Well, anyway, here's the file. I admitted him just because he was freaking me out a little and I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He's pretty sure you were born in Britain and you went to Cambridge. He thinks you're a boxer and you actually live in L.A." House replied with a raised eyebrow and looked down at the chart. No symptoms aside from the weird delusions.

The next sketch was set in a hospital and started off with the Laurie fellow dressed up as a woman nurse. House chuckled.

"Do you still think he looks like me?" He looked down at her.

"Even more than I originally did," Cuddy replied in a deadpan.

"Well, thanks. I think you just enforced my previously present self-esteem issues," he said sarcastically.

"Knew you had 'em when I hired you."

House's pager started vibrating violently. He sighed and stood, grabbing the file.

"Enjoy your stalker, Mr. Laurie," Cuddy called after him with a laugh.

*****

**Review it up!! :]**


	2. Part 2

**You'd be surprised how much persuasion your reviews really have. This was a lot of fun to write, I think I'll continue on it. It's not my primary focus though so don't expect much.**

*****

Part 2

With the ducklings off running tests on his original patient, Dr. House limped into the room to see what this guy was really about.

"Hugh!" Stephen Fry cheered.

"I'm Dr. House," he drawled, prepared to introduce himself as he had many times before. Meeting patients was his least favorite part.

"No, no, that's the character you play on TV. How are you doing, Hugh? I haven't talked to you in quite a while. Have you a Twitter yet?" Stephen babbled in a British accent.

"You're delirious."

"No, just a little tired, that's all. Long flight from London to Los Angeles, it is."

"You have a medical condition. I don't know what it is yet, but I can tell you for certain you've got one."

Stephen raised an eyebrow. "Are you mad?"

"Mad?"

"You know, cookoo."

"No, that's you," House said. He was trying to be patient, but to tell the truth this lunatic was really interesting. "Anyway, we're in New Jersey, not LA."

"No, no, we're on the set of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in the Fox lot in LA."

"Have you been doing any drugs, or did you just move someplace new? Could be a toxin…"

"You should really ask yourself that, Hugh. I think you've gone mad."

House flashed his penlight in Stephen's eyes. Pupils equal, round and reactive. He called a nurse in to do a physical. For some reason, he was pretty sure this guy was perfectly healthy.

**

"Jesse Spencer, it is so nice to finally meet you, Hugh's spoken very highly of you!" Stephen was grinning as Chase walked into the room, followed closely by House.

"What?"

"I'm Stephen Fry, a good friend of Hugh's! I must say, Hugh is being rather dense today. Have you noticed that?"

"What the hell," Chase shot a questioning look towards House. House shrugged in reply.

"Don't look at me. I think in his world, you're Jesse and I'm Hugh. I talked to cuddy and she said he called her 'Ms. Edelstein'."

"What are his symptoms?"

"He doesn't have any. Literally."

"Have you talked to your team?"

"They are coming down when they're done with the corrective surgery on my patient."

"Then why'd you have me come down here?"

"I want you to get his history. I'm sick of talking to him,"

"Hugh! That's not very nice! I thought you were my best friend!"

House rolled his eyes. "Have fun," he said, dropping the file into Chase's hands before he could say no.

*****

**Review it up!! :]**


	3. Part 3

**Sorry it took me! I'm writing another story too, called Tension, so that's my primary focus and I barely get any time to write that. I'm so busy. Anyway, here's part III and I'm about to put up part IIII, so tell me what you think! thanks a lot!**

*****

Part III

Thirteen walked from the room with a baffled look on her face. House was propped up against the nurse's station waiting for his team.

"He called me Olivia."

"Have you realized what's wrong with him yet?"

"No. Do you know?"

"I figured it out, I think."

"Well, what's wrong with him?" Taub and Foreman came out of the room with similar baffled looks and came to stand next to 13.

"There's nothing wrong with him."

"Well then, why's he think I'm 'Omar'?" Foreman asked.

"There's something wrong with us."

"House, what the hell are you talking about?" Foreman didn't like House's games.

"I have no idea. I'll figure it out. That's why I have you guys, to run meaningless tests until we either come up with some useful information or until I have an epiphany. Tox screen, Chem panel, EKG. Anything else you can think of. The guy's obviously rich. Go. Do."

*****

"Hello, Stephen," Cuddy said upon entering patient room 24B. A look of excitement swept over his face.

"Lisa Edelstein! How are you this fine morning? Have you seen Hugh?" He was just as babbly as the day before.

Cuddy sighed. "My name is Lisa Cuddy, I'm the Dean of Medicine here."

"No, no, that's the character you play on TV! I had to tell Hugh that too. The powers that be need to let you all out a little more, if you ask me."

"Fine. My name is Lisa whatever, and I was wondering if you could tell me Hou- I mean, Hugh's cell phone number."

"Why do I need to do that? You two are the best of friends, certainly you have his number!"

"No, actually, my phone, uhm, broke, and I need to contact, uhm, Hugh. So please, what is his number?"

Stephen took the cell from his bedside table and clicked a few buttons. "758-895-9635"

"Thank you, Stephen."

Cuddy left the crisp hospital room and headed for the Diagnostic's Lounge. House's team was waiting in anticipation. House chucked his red and gray ball against the opposite wall.

"I got the number," she said. The team gathered around the glass table as Cuddy punched the numbers into the phone and put it on speaker. Even House stepped forward in anticipation.

'MMMBop' by Hanson echoed into the Lounge from House's adjacent office and the team collectively groaned.

"Are you serious? What kind of stalker is this guy?" House angrily limped to grab his phone. Sure enough, 'The Ducklings' blared from the LED screen.

"I have another idea," Cuddy said with a mischievous smile.

*****

**Reviews, please!**


	4. Part 4

**Here's Part IIII! Enjoy! I'm seriously considering tweeting Mr. Stephen Fry himself about this...I wonder if he'd actually read it? That'd be cool, wouldn't it! For the record, Mr. Fry, if I can actually convince you to read it and you actually get this far into it, I do not think you are crazy in real life! You rock!**

**(and to my readers, thanks for the reviews and keep them coming!!!)**

*****

Part IIII

"So who does he think I am?" Taub asked, pulling off his lab coat and hanging it on the coat rack in the Diagnostic's Lounge.

"Peter Jacobshire. No, Jackson," Cuddy replied.

"Jacobson," Chase corrected from just inside the doorway.

"Whatever. You're going to pretend to be Peter Jacobson. You're from Chicago, you're Jewish and you went to Brown and Juilliard," Cuddy explained.

"How the hell do you know all that?" House questioned.

"Wikipedia." Turning to Taub, she said, "Try to find out what he is doing in L.A. That's where he thinks he is right now. Try to get a history too, but you have to be subtle. Act like you're making small talk, not like you're actually taking an actual history."

"Okay," Peter, no, Taub said with a sigh.

*****

"Peter!" Stephen cried from the hospital bed. "So glad to meet you, I've heard so much about you from Hugh!"

"Uhm. Hi, Stephen, nice to meet you too. How have you been?"

"I've been just fine, however your costars not so much. They're acting a little batty, I'd say."

"Eh, don't worry about them. So why are you out here in LA?"

"I'm on the set of Bones right now. Came over to visit Hugh and they stuck me in this hospital bed! Every time I try to get up a nice young woman in her nurse costume comes and tells me to get back in my bed. Really quite batty, if you ask me."

"Don't worry about them, they're just, uhm, doing their job. So, Stephen, I hear you're big on twitter?"

Suddenly Stephen got a horrified look on his face.

"Who are you?"

"You don't remember who I am?"

"Where am I? Why am I in a hospital?"

"We were just talking. You're in New Jersey, you're- Stephen! Stay with me! Nurse!" Peter started shouting as Stephen passed out.

*****

"It's just part of the delirium," Taub said after explaining what had happened to all the members of House's teams, new and old.

"Maybe he didn't pass out from a panic attack, maybe that was a symptom?" Cameron questioned.

"Well we've got nothing else to go on, so we have to consider it," Kutner said as House scribbled on the whiteboard.

At the top of the whiteboard, House wrote, "Crazy Fry".

"I officially declare this a legit case," he said as he turned around.

*****

**Reviews, please!**


	5. Part 5

**Here's Part V! I'm really having fun writing this fic. It's hard to do the differential scenes, because I have a disease already picked out and it's hard to find diseases with similar symptoms and such. Oh, and please guys, no comments on medical accuracy - I'm still in high school with no plan of ever becoming a doctor!!! Uneducated reviews are great though, haha :) **

**And a big thanks to ILUVHUGHFAN over on the House Forum for suggesting "Stir Crazy Fry". Pure genius!**

**(thanks for the reviews and keep them coming!!! Remember they are what actually got me to turn this into more than just a oneshot, and then more than just a short story! Seriously considering drawing this one out :)**

*****

Part V

"So, what are possible diagnosis'?" House said, adding 'Stir' to the whiteboard, making it "Stir Crazy Fry".

"That's the problem. There really aren't any," Thirteen said, staring at the file. House wrote 'fainting' and 'delirium' on the whiteboard underneath the comical heading.

"Well we can't just wait until more symptoms emerge," Foreman said, from where he was perched against the wall. The lounge wasn't generally this crowded. Everyone was there: Foreman, 13, House, Cuddy, Chase, Kutner, Taub and Cameron.

"Then start suggesting, I don't care whether it makes sense, just something to…spark ideas," House grumbled.

"Alzheimer's," Cameron said.

"Came on kind of fast, and it's uncommon for it to hit this young," Kutner replied.

"But not unheard of," House muttered. "Get a neurological exam and find out if it's in his family."

"How are we supposed to do that? No one can have a real conversation with this guy," Taub said.

After a moment of thought, House looked at Cuddy.

"See if you can get this Hugh Laurie guy on the phone."

***

"Yes, yes, I see," Cuddy said into the phone. "No, no, this is real. Yes, I- ma'am, my name is Lisa Cuddy, yes, okay, but the thing is, we can't get him to- okay. He's delirious. Uh-huh. We need to get a real history, and I'm afraid Mr. Laurie is the only one who can make that work for us. Yes. There's no other option…" Cuddy was beginning to look impatient as she spoke into House's office phone. House was perched in his comfy chair, admiring her ass, and trying not to laugh.

"Listen, Mrs. Javers, if you could just tell Mr. Laurie that his best friend is sick, I'm sure he'd be willing to help us out. No this is not a publicity stunt!" Cuddy collapsed into House's desk chair and rubbed her temple. This woman, Hugh Laurie's supposed secretary, one of the probably many, was unbearable. House wished he could hear the other side of the conversation.

"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Javers. Thank you. Yes, that would be fantastic. Thank you," Cuddy hung up the phone with a grin.

"Hugh Laurie will be in contact with us within the next three hours."

*****

**Reviews, please!**


	6. UPDATE: NOT new chapter

**Just an update, not a posting, sorry :). I've been soo busy lately, I've barely had time to update Tension, my other fic (which you should check out, if you haven't already!!) I DO plan on continuing this story, so if you like it and you want more, SUBSCRIBE! I really hope to post again soon, and I'll try to work on it this weekend, I promise!! **

**Happy New year, by the way! Stay tuned :)**


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